Article on Jerry West by Jonathan Abrams

This is an article by Jonathan Abrams from Grantland.com on the great Jerry West. West is open about is life long battle with self-esteem issues. Also previews his new book which comes out today (Oct.18): West by West: My Charmed, Tormented Life. click here for the article

Self-esteem by Brian Tracy

By Brian Tracy ***
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Your self-esteem is probably the most important part of your personality. It precedes and predicts your performance in almost everything you do. It is the energy source or the reactor core of your personality, and how much self-esteem you have determines your levels of vitality, enthusiasm and personal magnetism. People with high self-esteem are more positive, more likable and more effective in every part of their lives.

Everything that you do or say or think will affect your self-esteem. Your job, therefore, is to keep your self-esteem high and positive on a continuing basis.

Probably the best definition of self-esteem is this: the level to which you respect and value yourself as an important, worthwhile person. People with high self-esteem feel terrific about themselves and their lives. When you feel really good about yourself, you tend to be the very best person you can possibly be.

To perform at your best and to feel terrific about yourself, you should be in a perpetual state of self-esteem building and maintenance. Just as you take responsibility for your level of physical fitness, you need to take complete responsibility for the content and quality of your mind.

I have developed a simple formula that contains all the critical elements of self-esteem building, and you can use it on a regular basis to assure maximum performance.

This formula is comprised of six basic elements. They are: goals, standards, success experiences, comparison with others, recognition, and rewards. Let's take them one at a time.

How much you like and respect yourself is directly affected by your goals. The very act of setting big, challenging goals for yourself and making written plans of action to achieve them actually raises your self-esteem, which causes you to feel much better about yourself.

Self-esteem is a condition you experience when you are moving step-by-step toward the accomplishment of something that is important to you. For that reason, it's really important to have clear goals for each part of your life and to continually work toward achieving those goals. Each progressive step causes your self-esteem to go up and makes you feel more positive and effective in everything else you do.

The second element in self-esteem building is having clear standards and values to which you are committed. Men and women with high self-esteem are very clear about what they believe in. The higher your values and ideals are, and the more committed you are to living your life consistent with those values and ideals, the more you will like and respect yourself, and the higher your self-esteem will be.

Lasting self-esteem comes only when your goals and your values are congruent--that is, when they fit into each other like a hand into a glove. Much of the stress that people experience comes from believing one thing and trying to do another. But when your goals and values are in harmony with each other, you feel a wonderful surge of energy and well-being, and that's when you start to make real progress.

Many people tell me that they are unhappy with their job because they can't seem to achieve success no matter how hard they try. I always ask them if they are doing what they really care about and believe in. In many cases, people realize that they are not happy with their job because it is the wrong kind of work for them. Once they change jobs and start doing something that they really enjoy, something that is more consistent with their innermost convictions, they start to make real progress and get a lot of satisfaction out of their work.

The third element in self-esteem building involves having success experiences. Once you have set your goals and standards, it is important that you make them measurable so that you can keep score of your small and large successes along the way. The very act of setting up a goal, breaking it down into smaller parts, and then completing those parts makes you feel like a winner and causes your self-esteem to go up. But remember that you can't hit a target you can't see. You can't feel like a winner unless you clearly lay out the standards by which you are going to measure your success and then achieve those standards.

The fourth element of self-esteem is comparison with others. The more you know about how well the others in your field are doing, and the more favorably you compare with them, the more you will feel like a winner, and the higher your self-esteem will be.

Successful people continually compare themselves with other successful people. They think about them and read about them and study their performances, and then they work to surpass them one step at a time. Eventually, successful people reach the point where they compete only with themselves and with their past accomplishments. But this comes after they have moved to the top and left many of their competitors behind.

The next element for self-esteem is recognition of your accomplishments by people whom you respect. To feel really great about yourself, you need the recognition of people you look up to and admire, such as your boss, your coworkers, your spouse and people in your social circle. Whenever you are recognized and praised for any accomplishment by someone whose opinion you hold in high regard, your self-esteem goes up, along with your eagerness and enthusiasm to do even better on the job.

The final element of self-esteem involves rewards that are consistent with your accomplishments. You may work in a field where you receive financial bonuses, status symbols--larger offices, bigger cars--or even plaques and trophies for superior achievement. All of those symbols can have an incredible impact on raising your self-esteem and causing you to feel terrific about yourself.

If, however, your existing situation does not offer the tangible or intangible rewards that are necessary for you to build and maintain your self-esteem, you must create rewards for yourself. One of the smartest things you can do is to design a system for giving yourself rewards for both small and large accomplishments as you move progressively toward your goals. For example, people who do telephone prospecting will often treat themselves to a cup of coffee after every 10 calls. After 25 calls, they will reward themselves with a walk around the building or the block. After 50 calls, they will go out to lunch. Each of those rewards serves as an incentive that motivates them to repeat the performance. The end result is success, enthusiasm, and high self-esteem.

Whether or not your current environment provides the six elements of self-esteem building--goals, standards, success experiences, comparison with others, recognition, and rewards--you need to establish your own structure and take full responsibility for building yourself up on a regular basis.

The only real way for you to absolutely know that you are a valuable and worthwhile person is for you to make the effort, overcome the obstacles and pay the price to bring these elements into your life. When you have that foundation, you will experience a form of mental fitness and unshakable optimism that will sustain you through failure and propel you to success.

About the Author:

Brian Tracy is an authority on the development of human potential and personal effectiveness. He is chairman and CEO of Brian Tracy International, a company specializing in the training and development of individuals and organizations. Brian addresses more than 250,000 people each year, to audiences as large as 20,000 people. Visit http://www.BrianTracy.com for more information.

Good article from CNN:What teachers want to tell parents

 

Parents, teachers and coaches all should read the following article from CNN: click here

Reconnect

I thought last spring how unconnected or de-connected I can become with my team, with others and my family.

Whether it is a mission statement, or a charge this is what I have given to our team for this year.

We may not have the most of (fill in the blank), but we can make up for it in other ways. I need something to hold myself accountable. I want something to hold our team accountable.

For evaluating how our team is playing I love statistics and trends. I love to analyze numbers of how we are playing, shooting, rebounding, defending, etc. What I don’t like doing is monitoring how much a player is growing and how a team is growing emotionally. Each one is different and takes its own time table.

We may not reach of these goals. We will strive to hit them between now and the last game of the season. The goals we want to achieve on the court and in games are tangible and are for all to see. Only our team can see these goals.

It may take every day single day of our season and up to the last second. That will be our commitment for our team.

Reconnect

We will be committed to each other

We will love each other

We will give our best for each other

We will depend on each other

We will be here for each other

We will cheer for each other

We will forgive each other

We will listen to each other

We will put yesterday behind us

We will not worry about tomorrow

We will give it all we got today

We will respect each other

We will confront each other

We will help each other

We will have each other’s back

From Self Improvement Newsletter

Description:

Throughout the course of each day, it's a good idea to take a step back and examine not just the road you are traveling, but how you are going about the journey. Are you just going through the motions or are you being the best version of you that you can be? Keep these six questions in mind every day in order to live life to the fullest:

1. Are you 100% in the moment and totally committed to all you do?
2. Are you naturally enthusiastic and excited about life?
3. Do you approach life with the magic, vulnerability, and curiosity of a child?
4. Are you as honest as a child?
5. Do you love unconditionally?
6. If you fall down, do you get right back up?

Can you honestly answer "yes" to each of these questions? Which of these questions do you think has the strongest effect on how you live your life? Do you have any questions to add to this list?

From the book, The Practice of the Presence of God, by Brother Lawrence

“My day to day life consists of giving God my simple, loving attention. If I am distracted, He calls me back in tones that are supernaturally beautiful. If you think of me, remember the grace with which God has blessed me rather than my typical human ineptitude.

My typical prayers consist of simple continuation of this simple exercise. Sometimes I imagine that I’m a piece of stone, waiting for a sculpture. When I give myself to God this way, He begins sculpting my soul into the perfect image of His beloved Son. At other times, I feel my whole mind and heart being raised up into God’s presence, as if, without effort, they had always belonged there.

Some people may consider this attitude self-deceptive. But I cannot permit it to be called deception, since in this state of enjoying God I desire nothing but His presence. If I am denying myself, the Lord will have to remedy it. I want Him to whatever He pleases with me; all I want Him to be is completely His.”

 

I have read through this book a couple of times. It is high on my recommendation list for your devotional reading and improving your walk with the Lord. My college coach gave this to me last spring as well as some other coaches when he was here in town to speak.

How to Coach Your Boss blog post from Michael Hyatt

How to Coach Your Boss

Much has been written on the topic of coaching employees. (One of my favorites is a book we published a few years ago by Daniel Harkavy. It is called Becoming a Coaching Leader: The Proven System for Building Your Own Team of Champions.) But very little has been written on the topic of coaching your boss.

 

The truth is that most employees see things that their boss says or does that are ineffective or inefficient. Sometimes, they see these things more clearly than anyone else. The boss could profit greatly from the insight of his or her subordinates—if only they could get honest feedback.

The problem is that most people are scared to correct their boss or offer advice. They are afraid they will be punished or, at the very least, given a cold shoulder. But that’s not always true.

The best bosses welcome criticism, knowing that the shortest distance between where they are and where they want to go is the truth. They create a “safe environment,” where people can freely speak their mind.

But what if you are not sure about your boss? What if you are afraid you will jeopardize your career by speaking up? Here are a few things to consider when attempting to offer advice to your supervisor.

1. Check the weather. Bosses are people, too. They have families, pay bills, and struggle with the same things you do. They probably have a boss as well. They have good days and bad. And, sometimes they are more receptive to input than others. Find a time when the boss is not in a bad mood or distracted by other things.
2. Be humble. Don’t correct your boss out of anger. Don’t correct him out of pride. Instead, acknowledge that both of you are human. He or she has faults—but so do you. The reason you are on the same team is so you can help each other.
3. Start with praise. Most people can hear criticism if they know they are loved and accepted. Offering a genuine compliment is a good way to start a difficult conversation. But beware: it must be authentic. Otherwise, it will feel like manipulation.
4. Ask for permission. You might say something like, “There’s something I’d like to share with you that I think would be helpful to both of us, but I want to make sure I have your permission to speak openly.” Then pause. It’s difficult for the boss to take offense if he or she has given you permission to proceed.
5. Put it in context. One of the best things you can do is help your boss understand how his behavior is keeping him from accomplishing his goals. For example, “I know that collaboration is one of your highest values. But when you cut me off in mid-sentence, it makes me want to withdraw and not participate.” Or, “You have always encouraged me to set high goals and believe in myself, but when you snap at me like that, I feel small and want to give up.”
6. Assume the best. I don’t know too many bosses that get up in the morning with the goal of making their employees miserable. They are most likely clueless about the behavior that is driving you crazy. If they knew about it, they would correct it. You have to assume they will change once they have the benefit of your perspective and input.
7. Believe that it matters. It’s not an accident that you are working for this person at this time and are noticing this behavior. Maybe God has placed you in this person’s life to help them grow. Some of the very best counsel I have ever received came from my subordinates. If you don’t speak up, who will?
8. Take the risk. Speaking out takes courage. You will never grow into the leader you were meant to be if you are not willing to take a risk and occasionally speak up. Being a suck-up will not get you promoted. Being courageous eventually will—so long as it’s done in the right spirit.

As a boss myself, I consider it an expression of loyalty when my people talk directly to me rather than about me. I know I have faults. I want to grow. You can help me—and your own boss—by taking the initiative.

Question: Do you need to sit down and have a talk with your boss? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

25 characteristics of a husband who truly loves his wife by Robert Lewis

1. Includes his wife in envisioning the future.

2. Accepts spiritual responsibility for his family.

3. Is willing to say "I'm sorry" and "Forgive me" to his family.

4. Discusses household responsibilities with his wife and makes sure they are fairly distributed.

5. Seeks consultation from his wife on all major financing decisions.

6. Follows through with commitments he has made to his wife.

7. Anticipates the different stages his children will pass through.

8. Anticipates the different stages his marriage will pass through.

9. Frequently tells his wife what he likes about her.

10. Provides financially for his family's basic living expenses.

11. Deals with distraction so he can talk with his wife and family.

12. Prays with his wife on a regular basis.

13. Initiates meaningful family traditions.

14. Initiates fun family outings for the family on a regular basis.

15. Takes the time to give his children practical instruction about life.

16. Manages the schedule of the home and anticipates pressure points.

17. Keeps his family financially sound and out of harmful debt.

18. Makes sure he and his wife have drawn up a will.

19. Lets his wife and children into the interior of his life.

20. Honors his wife in public.

21. Explains sex to each child in a way that gives them a wholesome perspective.

22. Encourages his wife to grow as an individual.

23. Takes the lead in establishing sound family values.

24. Provides time for his wife to pursue her own personal interests.

25. Is involved in a small group of men dedicated to spiritual growth.

Success by Brian Tracy

September 12, 2011
The Key to Long-Term Success
By: Brian Tracy
Successful people have been studied in depth for more than 100 years. They have been interviewed extensively to determine what it is they do and how they think that enables them to accomplish so much more than the average person.
In this Newsletter, you learn the most important single factor of long-term success and how you can build it into your personality and your attitude. You learn how to virtually guarantee yourself a great future.
The Harvard Discovery on Success
In 1970, sociologist Dr. Edward Banfield of Harvard University wrote a book entitled The Unheavenly City. He described one of the most profound studies on success and priority setting ever conducted.
Banfield's goal was to find out how and why some people became financially independent during the course of their working lifetimes. He started off convinced that the answer to this question would be found in factors such as family background, education, intelligence, influential contacts, or some other concrete factor. What he finally discovered was that the major reason for success in life was a particular attitude of mind.

 

"Don't Let Anything Hold You Back"

Everyday thousands of people accomplish unbelievable tasks because they never put a limit on what they believe they can do. Once you learn how to break through your personal success barrier nothing will stand in your way of achieving greatness.

Develop Long Time Perspective
Banfield called this attitude "long time perspective." He said that men and women who were the most successful in life and the most likely to move up economically were those who took the future into consideration with every decision they made in the present. He found that the longer the period of time a person took into consideration while planning and acting, the more likely it was that he would achieve greatly during his career.
For example, one of the reasons your family doctor is among the most respected people in America is because he or she has invested many years of hard work and study to finally earn the right to practice medicine. After university courses, internship, residency and practical training, a doctor may be more than 30 years old before he or she is capable of earning a good living. But from that point onward, these men and women are some of the most respected and most successful professional people in any society. They had long time perspectives.
Measure the Potential Future Impact
The key to success in setting priorities is having a long time perspective. You can tell how important something is today by measuring its potential future impact on your life.
For example, if you come home from work at night and choose to play with your children or spend time with your spouse, rather than watch TV or read the paper, you have a long time perspective. You know that investing time in the health and happiness of your children and your spouse is a very valuable, high-priority use of time. The potential future impact of quality time with your family is very high.
If you take additional courses in the evening to upgrade your skills and make yourself more valuable to your employer, you're acting with a long time perspective. Learning something practical and useful can have a long-term effect on your career.
Practice Delayed Gratification
Economists say that the inability to delay gratification-that is, the natural tendency of individuals to spend everything they earn plus a little bit more, and the mind-set of doing what is fun, easy and enjoyable-is the primary cause of economic and personal failure in life. On the other hand, disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and important, although difficult, is the highroad to pride, self-esteem and personal satisfaction.
The long term comes soon enough, and every sacrifice that you make today will be rewarded with compound interest in the great future that lies ahead for you.
Action Exercises
Here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, think long-term. Sit down today and write out a description of your ideal life ten and twenty years into the future. This automatically develops longer-time perspective.
Second, look at everything you do in terms of its long-term potential impact on your life. Do more things that have greater long-term value to you.
Third, develop the habit of delaying gratification in small things, small expenditures, small pleasures, so that you can enjoy greater rewards and greater satisfaction in the future.

 

"Relax and allow affirmations to go through your subconscious mind!"

According to whole brain research, you can learn subjects quite rapidly as a result of deep relaxation and music used in a systemized, organized process. Because of this, it is also possible for you to learn new belief systems using the same techniques.

“How much will I get paid?”

The other day while doing jobs around the house one of my younger daughters had a question once she was given a task. Instead of a quick “yes dad” or “yes mom” she was curious of what she was getting out of the deal.

“How much am I going to get paid?”, she asked. Not getting upset I told her to do the job and she doesn’t get paid per job in this household. Sorry that’s not how we do business. Everyone pitches in, although sometimes begrudgingly.

I laughed when she said the statement then thought about it the rest of the day. It made me think of how much do I get that I deserve:

I have a great family, but I can easily get upset about something minor.

My wife has made many sacrifices for me, yet I am sometimes no as loving and supportive as I should be.

I am thankful to have the house I have even if something needs to be fixed here and there.

I am fortunate to work at a school that has the same values I do even if we may not have the same budget some schools have.

God does amazing things in small ways. He can take a simple sentence and allow it to get me refocused and change my way of thinking. Instead of feeling sorry for myself this allowed me to look at things a different way and be much more appreciative.