Transitions of Life #1 Listen to Your Parents"

1. Listen to your parents.


This is one of the key strategies and skills in reaching your potential. No matter what differences you have with your parents your ability to listen to them for guidance and advice is a key in the transitions of life. You will be frustrated, mad, angry and an assortment of other emotions with your parent’s. They were probably the same way with their parents. You follow this one piece of advice and it will keep you from big problems down the road.

If your parents or parent are asking you to do things that are against the law or against what God says, you can disregard point #1. Otherwise, this is key advice for you on how to reach the goals you have in life.

You have heard before again and you will hear it again. Your parents have your best interest and know you as well as anyone. They have been around you for a long time.
Because of these reasons they love more than anyone and they want to see the best for you even when you can not see it yourself.

Most people go through a typical progression of life when we hit different ages. Usually the pattern goes something like this:

Ages 1-11 “My parents are great, they can do just about anything”.
Age 12 “I think my parents are starting to get weird”.
Age 13-17 “My parents are weird and they don’t know a whole lot. Plus they embarrass me in front of my friends and they say goofy things”.
Age 18-22 “My parents are just out of touch with the real world. They don’t what it is like to be in the real world today”
Age 23-24 “I wonder if my parents will let me move back home?”
Age 25 “Maybe my parents knew a thing or two.”
Age 26 (or once you are married) “My parents were actually pretty smart”
Age 27 and up (or once you start to have kids) “How did my parents do all they did for me? They are great people and I count on them for advice”

As one who did not think my parents knew much, it was not until later that I realized that my parents did know a thing or two about life. It probably took me to the age of 22 or 23. For some people it does not take long and some people it takes longer. The sooner you listen to your parents the better.

Yes, your parents are out of it sometimes and are not up with the latest fashion, fads and friends. They do want the best for you and really want you to have it better than they did. We will talk about it later in the book, but you have to try to understand your parents just as much as they have to understand you. It is communication. Sometimes you have to filter out the loud voices or the angry voices and understand what your parents are trying to communicate.

Do not forget that experience is not the best teacher. Other people and their experiences are the best teachers. If someone else can make the mistake and you don’t have to pay for it that is better than you having to suffer the consequences.

Your parents offer you a lot. They offer you the chance to learn from their past mistakes. That is a key to being able to listen to your parents. Understand their heart and where they are coming from when they try to tell you something.

Allow your parent or parents to make their point and voice their opinion without arguing with them. In the long run, you will be better off. They can keep you from making dumb decisions and will help you out a great deal. They know about many things. Many of the things they teach you are going to be from their experiences and past mistakes. Do not come up and make the same mistake they have made after they gave you numerous warnings. They can keep you out of trouble and heartache if you just listen to them.

My dad one time gave me advice once when I was struggling as a young coach with a particular situation. It was tough and was dominating my thought process. Looking back I was an immature young coach that did not know enough. Instead of seeking others advice and listening to people I tried to figure it out all by myself. That was a quick lesson for me in the coaching and teaching profession. Seek others advice and wisdom. This is where my dad came in to help me with the situation.

After listening to me lay out the situation he took it all in and didn’t try to tell me what to do, but he made me think of the ramifications. He said, “Imagine you are giving a talk on this subject 10 years from now at a coaching clinic. How would you advise someone and what kind of steps would you give for someone going through the exact situation?” Immediately he gave me the ability to think long term, not short term. Some of us are long term thinkers and some of us are short term thinkers. With parents and kids it is usually the kids are short term thinkers and want it fixed right now. Parents have the ability to think long term and see the big picture.

I can vividly remember lying on my bed talking to my dad over the phone. What he gave me was the ability to look at the problem from another point of view. What he gave me was a bird’s view to look at the situation and to take my emotions out of the equation. I would not have had that kind of wisdom because I was a young coach and inexperienced in dealing with personnel issues. My dad is a lawyer who has to deal with issues of people working together all the time. It was great advice and helped me tremendously. I still think of that conversation and how it changed my perspective. Now I use the “Think 10 years down the road” advice when trying to help other people.

My mom also gave me great advice at a critical juncture in my life. After my junior year of playing college basketball, I had the opportunity to graduate and go out into the real world. We had a good team coming back and our entire starting five from a team that went to the National Tournament the previous season. I was thinking about quitting and going on ahead to graduate. I would go out and get a job in broadcasting or some type of job in the sports journalism area.

My mom told that she did not think I had reached my full potential as a basketball player. “Give it one more year to play and see what happens” she said. To her she saw someone that had worked so hard to get to this point that she did not want to see me quit just yet. She can remember all those summers working on my basketball game. All the times when it may have been raining, cold or snow on the ground, but I would still go out there and shoot baskets. She had watched me develop and thought I still had some growth as a player. It was great advice. I went back to school and got ready for a great senior year.

For me it was an incredible year. I had a spiritual awakening in the fall of my senior year and became a Christian, played my best year and we won the NAIA National Championship in the spring. I am glad I listened to my mom.

Do not forget that the one commandment of the Ten Commandments that talks about honoring your parents comes with a promise

Exodus12:20
"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.”


“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”
Mark Twain