5. Get on the right bus
In the summer of 2005 I had the enjoyment of working a basketball camp at Duke University. My son attended the camp and I worked as a camp coach. We had a blast as father and son staying in the dorm, eating in the cafeteria together while getting to be part of a prestigious basketball camp.
Mike Krzyzewski (“Coach K”) is the head men’s basketball coach at Duke University. While coaching there he has had enormous success. In addition to winning three NCAA National Championships he also led the Men’s Basketball team to the Gold Medal in the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, China. After lunch each day Coach K would speak to the entire group of campers (about 600) and coaches each day in their main basketball arena, Cameron Indoor Stadium.
He told a story during one of those talks from his childhood that left a lasting impression on me. It is completely aligned with making the right choices. When Krzyzewski was making the transition from junior high to high school it meant he would also be going to school in a new location. The junior high and high school were not located in the same area. This meant for him he had to take a new path to school and this meant a new bus route. He grew up in the inner city of Chicago and had to take a city bus to school not a school bus. It struck a chord with me because my mother had to do the same thing by taking the city bus to school growing up in Detroit on Six Mile Road. I can remember my mother telling me stories about her youth and how she would take public transit to get to school in the morning and then back home in the afternoon.
Taking a city bus would involve getting a certain bus for one leg of the trip then transferring to another bus for another part of the trip to his final destination. As he was heading out the door for his first day of high school, his mom called out to him and said, “Make sure you get on the right bus, Mike.”
He rolled his eyes like most high school kids when hearing something from their parents. The thought went through his mind “I know how to get on the bus get to my school.” To him he was responsible. He had it planned out and knew where he was going.
Coach K told the campers that is not what his mother meant. She was trying to get across much more in that simple statement. The important part to her was he got on the right bus by hanging around the right people and doing the right thing. The temptations in high school were going to be more intense. The consequences would be deeper. She was telling him to make the right choices by getting on the “right bus.” She made sure he knew that some people drive the bus to the wrong place and get themselves and others in trouble.
We choose our bus every day. Sometimes when you are in a big city or if you have ever ridden a bus on an out of town trip you make sure that you get on the correct bus. At big events when there a lot of buses in the parking lot each bus has a small sign on the front which designates who that particular bus is for. Either by group or possibly by letters of the alphabet the buses have a way of being organized so the people coming in on the bus ride out on the same bus. Otherwise it would be mass confusion.
It is the same for us. You must know your bus and what bus you belong on for your ride. If you get into a situation and you quickly realize you are around the wrong people and on the wrong bus it is time to get off the bus quickly. Don’t wait around. Get off the ride immediately. You can fall into a trap by waiting to see if the bus ride gets better. It doesn’t get better. You just get used to it and soon you are just as involved in things you know are wrong. That’s why it is so important to stay on the right bus.
In the summer of 2005 I had the enjoyment of working a basketball camp at Duke University. My son attended the camp and I worked as a camp coach. We had a blast as father and son staying in the dorm, eating in the cafeteria together while getting to be part of a prestigious basketball camp.
Mike Krzyzewski (“Coach K”) is the head men’s basketball coach at Duke University. While coaching there he has had enormous success. In addition to winning three NCAA National Championships he also led the Men’s Basketball team to the Gold Medal in the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, China. After lunch each day Coach K would speak to the entire group of campers (about 600) and coaches each day in their main basketball arena, Cameron Indoor Stadium.
He told a story during one of those talks from his childhood that left a lasting impression on me. It is completely aligned with making the right choices. When Krzyzewski was making the transition from junior high to high school it meant he would also be going to school in a new location. The junior high and high school were not located in the same area. This meant for him he had to take a new path to school and this meant a new bus route. He grew up in the inner city of Chicago and had to take a city bus to school not a school bus. It struck a chord with me because my mother had to do the same thing by taking the city bus to school growing up in Detroit on Six Mile Road. I can remember my mother telling me stories about her youth and how she would take public transit to get to school in the morning and then back home in the afternoon.
Taking a city bus would involve getting a certain bus for one leg of the trip then transferring to another bus for another part of the trip to his final destination. As he was heading out the door for his first day of high school, his mom called out to him and said, “Make sure you get on the right bus, Mike.”
He rolled his eyes like most high school kids when hearing something from their parents. The thought went through his mind “I know how to get on the bus get to my school.” To him he was responsible. He had it planned out and knew where he was going.
Coach K told the campers that is not what his mother meant. She was trying to get across much more in that simple statement. The important part to her was he got on the right bus by hanging around the right people and doing the right thing. The temptations in high school were going to be more intense. The consequences would be deeper. She was telling him to make the right choices by getting on the “right bus.” She made sure he knew that some people drive the bus to the wrong place and get themselves and others in trouble.
We choose our bus every day. Sometimes when you are in a big city or if you have ever ridden a bus on an out of town trip you make sure that you get on the correct bus. At big events when there a lot of buses in the parking lot each bus has a small sign on the front which designates who that particular bus is for. Either by group or possibly by letters of the alphabet the buses have a way of being organized so the people coming in on the bus ride out on the same bus. Otherwise it would be mass confusion.
It is the same for us. You must know your bus and what bus you belong on for your ride. If you get into a situation and you quickly realize you are around the wrong people and on the wrong bus it is time to get off the bus quickly. Don’t wait around. Get off the ride immediately. You can fall into a trap by waiting to see if the bus ride gets better. It doesn’t get better. You just get used to it and soon you are just as involved in things you know are wrong. That’s why it is so important to stay on the right bus.
One of the difficulties in growing up is getting on the right bus. If you had to make a list of:” Top Ten important things to do in life” choosing your friends like we discussed earlier would be on that list. If you ask older people with wisdom and insight they are going to tell you to be careful who you hang around. This is where it gets difficult. When we are in our teenage and young adult years we can get very protective and argumentative with other people about our friends. This argument can especially be heated if this dispute happens to be with our parents or guardians. We will want to stick up for them if someone is talking ill about them. If someone says that they are a bad influence or they are a “bad apple” we can get very defensive.
We lose sight at a young age the people that are part of our family or that are close to us want the best for our lives. They want us to be around the best influences possible. Anything less than perfect and your parents aren’t going to be pleased. That’s an extreme, but you get the point. They want you around positive influences in your school, in your church, in your neighborhood, on your team and anywhere else that you will be around people your own age.
A fear of most parents is their own kids will get messed up with the wrong crowd. So if you feel like your parents are freaking out you can understand that nearly every parent comes from the same point of view. They are going to be more judgmental about the kids you are with than other kids. Young people that you don’t come in contact with or your parents are of no consequence to them. They don’t show up on their radar so they are not worried about them.
Your parents are only concerned about the ones you are with on a daily or regular basis. Give them a chance to voice their opinion. Instead of letting become an argument hear them out. Then explain what you like about the friends you have and be able to defend why they are a good influence. If you can defend their positive influence on you then your parents should be able to rest a little bit easier.
You must understand they will always want what it best for you and sometimes that can cloud their judgment. Even so, they might have some good points to make and can keep you out of some trouble down the road if you give your parents the time to share their concerns.
Every transition in life you make and even every situation you are in now ask yourself the following questions:
What is the bus you are getting you on?
What are the people like on that bus?
What influence and what bus are you driving?
Write down on a list the positive qualities you have.
Put down on paper the things you do well and the parts of your personality that will draw other people to you.
Then write on the list the negative qualities about other people that you want to stay away from in your life.
Figure out how to lead others with the positive parts of your personality and how to avoid getting on the wrong bus by hanging around the people that you know have a negative influence on your life.
The buses you ride in life will take you where you want to go and those buses can take you to places that can get you in trouble. Make sure before you get on the bus you know where the bus in going. Remember Mrs. Krzyzewski’s words and probably your parents words, “Get on the right bus.”
Proverbs 12:26
“A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”
"You are the same today that you will be five years from now except for two things-the people you meet and the books you read."
Charles “Tremendous” Jones
“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail. “
Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail. “
Ralph Waldo Emerson
