“Nothing is More Precious than Children” Syndicated Column Tuesday August 26, 1997 by Tony Snow
Here is what I learned on my summer vacation: You don’t go on vacation to relax. You go to reclaim lost priorities. This may not seem such a grand revelation to you, but like lots of dweebs in the journalism business, I often busy myself with being busy. My wife and I have been married for 10 years, and it wasn’t until this month that we took the first bona fide , non working vacation since our honeymoon.
We packed up our three kids and a baby sitter and struck out for Italy. There, we met an old college buddy and his family- also three young kids- and spent a little more than a week touring the countryside, using a marchese’s villa as our headquarters. No doubt this sounds romantic. But think: six kids under the age of 6; three in diapers; one not old enough to crawl. Forget about lingering lunches in scenic cafes or leisurely and museums.
We sprinted though Assisi, did Florence in 120 minutes, explored dozens of hygienic facilities, and quelled occasional eruptions of violence and tears among the kids. My wife and I spent more time in the supermarkato than in the Sistine Chapel. We ate more toasty bruschette than exotic pasta. We got almost no sleep, since the kids were trying to adjust to the change in time, and we never managed to log as many poolside hours as we had hoped.
One more thing: it was great. Ed Feulner of the Heritage Foundation likes to note than in Washington, D.C., where I work, the urgent overwhelms the important. When you work there you labor under the unspoken expectation of caring about even the tiniest seismic events, such as rumors about upcoming subcommittee markups. In our neighborhood, a superdad is a guy who makes it home for dinner ten times a month. I have actually heard people talk about “quality time” so they excuse the ritual of bursting through the front door and performing one last office chore before devoting themselves fully to kith and kin.
You can’t get away with such stunts on vacations. Children become sovereigns and fathers become dads. Youngsters- at least the little ones- clamber into bed and stay with you for the duration. They dictate the pace of touring, the leisure of lunch, the rules of the game you play. What sublime slavery: Few things can match such diversions as frolicking in a pool, listening to the chiming of children’s laughter or picking blueberries beside an unquiet but hidden stream. For two weeks we saw the sights. But we also colored. We played board games. We read stories. We came up with novel meals.
No love compares to that for your children. And for the first time it strikes me just how little we see them during our average working days. When a child comes to the office, people figure the parent is trying to make up for a missed soccer game, the babysitter called in sick, or the spouse left , leaving a note: “ You think it’s easy? Tag. You’re it.”Like most proud parents, my office is a kids’ museum: Here’s a can for pencils; there’s a pot painted by my oldest. The wall features the normal retinue of refrigerator-ready masterworks, and my bookshelves display pictures of one and all.
And yet treasures can’t compare with two weeks unsullied by phone calls or evanescent crises. The things you learn! My son, it turns out, has infinite endurance. My daughter has breathtaking powers of observation. My wife becomes more spectacular and magical with each challenge and day. And the baby has left the drool-and-coo zone. She just crawled for the first time.
My dad once told me: You can never spend too much time with your kids or your wife, and you can never hug them too often. Sage advice. Like many writers, I aspire to immortality. But in this life, there’s only one thing most of us can influence directly, and that’s our families. Subcommittee mark-ups come and go, but the blessing of children comes just once.
So, at the tender age of 42, I finally get it. Next year we’ll take two vacations.
Tony Snow died July 12, 2008 at the age of 53
p.s I have some copies of John Maxwell’s latest book, Everyone Communicates, Few Connect. If you would like copy send me your name and address and I will mail you a copy. Thanks.
