Inside Tomlin's style: Humility, words matter for Steelers coach

By Jarrett Bell, USA TODAY

TAMPA — Iron sharpens iron.

That's shop talk, courtesy of Pittsburgh Steelers coach Mike Tomlin, who has stretched much mileage from a few choice words on his rapid ascent up the coaching ladder.

"I've probably heard that one at least 150 times — this year," Steelers defensive end Brett Keisel says. "It's kind of monotonous, but we get the point."

There is serious brainwashing at work. Like advertising executives on Madison Avenue whose memorable jingles are hammered home on a campaign, Tomlin embraces verbal repetition. A wide swath of material is fair game. He quotes from books, movies and even Robert Frost poems. He sprinkles in pop-culture buzzwords and clichés alike when speaking in team meetings and on the practice field.

More grounded, more humble, more selfless makes us more opportunistic.

Steelers players have heard that mantra throughout the postseason, and some might utter it reflexively, summoned from their unconscious mind as if they were oversized parrots. It can be like whistling a song suddenly stuck on the brain.

"You'll catch yourself, like, 'Why did I just say that?' " quarterback Ben Roethlisberger says.

The man has options.

"If he were not a football coach," defensive tackle Chris Hoke says, "he'd be a shrink."

Tomlin, 36, isn't sure what he'd do for a living if a whistle weren't dangling from his neck. In lieu of psychology, he knows exactly what he is at the moment: In his second year at the helm, he is the youngest coach to guide a team to the Super Bowl.

It seems fitting that Tomlin — a married father of three who played receiver at William and Mary — can make history at Raymond James Stadium. He got his first NFL job in 2001 on Tony Dungy's staff as the Tampa Bay Buccaneers defensive backs coach.

Yet this isn't a sentimental journey, even though his wife, Kiya, with a circle of friends in the area, came to town two days before the Steelers arrived Monday.

"I'm not one," Tomlin says, "that buys into the notion that it's destiny."

It also is compelling that former Steelers assistants Ken Whisenhunt and Russ Grimm — who also were in the running to succeed Bill Cowher as Steelers coach in 2007 — will be on the opposite sideline Sunday.

Tomlin downplays this juicy subplot, although he acknowledges that Whisenhunt has insight on how the Steelers were built and the subtleties of their players.

"This game," Tomlin says, "is going to be decided by those who play it on the field."

Favorite phrases

The time's coming when we're going to have to ante up and kick in like men.

That's a memorable line from Glory, the 1989 film about an all-black Civil War infantry. That Glory ranks among Tomlin's favorites — he estimates that he has seen it 25 times — flows with his appreciation for history and other forms of non-fiction.

A favorite book is the best-seller Flags of Our Fathers by James Bradley, the son of one of the World War II soldiers who raised the U.S. flag at Iwo Jima.

"Now I don't try to draw parallels between military combat and football," Tomlin says. "But it was an awesome learning experience from a leadership standpoint."

Tomlin also loves a good biography. "I'm not a fiction reader by any stretch," he said. "I read for information."

And insightful catchphrases.

It's a 5-Star Game, because we're in it.

Tomlin began to incorporate verbal bouquets into his coaching philosophy four jobs ago, when he coached defensive backs at Arkansas State in 1998. He felt he needed to find a way to get his coaching points to resonate with players.

"People aren't very good listeners, by nature," he says. "Part of being a good communicator is recognizing and understanding that and trying to make the complex simple. I try to capture a concept, an idea or a moment in a few words. If they remember it, job done."

I'll tolerate you until I can replace you.

Jermaine Phillips remembers this one. Phillips, a Buccaneers safety, was one of Tomlin's first NFL pupils. Earlier this week, it was the first Tomlin quote that popped into Phillips' mind when asked about his former position coach.

"It's simple, but it has so much meaning," Phillips said. "It's the essence of the NFL."

The Steelers got a whiff of Tomlin's straight talk from Day One. In his first team meeting as coach, he addressed Grimm, telling players he understood the former assistant had popular locker room support to land the job.

At the same time, Tomlin established himself as the new boss — with methods that did not exactly endear him to his players.

Last season, Tomlin had his team practicing in pads in December. When the Steelers folded with a playoff-opening loss to the Jacksonville Jaguars, some pointed to the physical demands down the stretch as draining.

This season, Tomlin backed off on the padded practices late in the season and has helped some veterans, including Hines Ward and Troy Polamalu, stay fresh with off days from Wednesday practices.

He slacked only so much.

In training camp, Tomlin put Casey Hampton on the physically unable to perform list until the overweight defensive tackle got in shape.

After rookie wide receiver Limas Sweed dropped a sure touchdown pass in the AFC title game, then flopped to the turf with a bruised ego — costing the team a timeout as he lay on the turf until trainers arrived — Tomlin instantly chastised him on the sideline.

Willie Parker, the running back who battled through injuries this season, drew Tomlin's public wrath after criticizing running back strategies.

"Every morning when I come to work," Tomlin said at a mid-December news conference, "I walk past five Lombardis, not five rushing titles."

Ward says it was immediately obvious that a confident Tomlin was intent on being his own man. Never mind that several of Cowher's assistants, including defensive coordinator Dick LeBeau, remained under Tomlin.

Says linebacker Larry Foote: "He ruffled a lot of feathers. He still does. But he doesn't blink. That's his way."

Tomlin also couldn't care less about glowing praises from his players. He snapped during a recent news conference, when a reporter brought up as much.

"I'm not interested in evaluating my performance, and particularly I'm not interested in my players' evaluations of my performance," Tomlin said. "I'm paid to evaluate them. How's your editor?"

Newport News roots

Tomlin grew up in Newport News, Va., where he attended Denbigh High School. He and his brother were raised for several years by a divorced mother, Julia, who married Leslie Copeland, a stepfather Tomlin refers to as "an all-pro dad."

In Tomlin's office at Steelers headquarters, there's an aerial photo of downtown Newport News, which reminds him of the place where his mother, grandfather and uncles all retired from the shipyards.

"I used to pick my mom up from work," Tomlin recalled. "I'd watch everybody spill out of those gates, trying to get on those buses and get out of there. It's a very blue-collar town. But being from there, you have a great amount of pride in it. We are hardened when we come from there."

Perhaps that's why Tomlin has been such a good fit in Pittsburgh, with its deep blue-collar roots.

Yet Tomlin, who accents his coaching attire with designer shades and keeps his thin sideburns trimmed, is considered extremely cool for an NFL coach.

Foote says, "He drives an Escalade, but I can see him in a Lamborghini or Bentley."

Tomlin is not too cool, though, for Kiya's honey-do list.

"Are you kidding?" he says. "She says she can always tell when it's a big game, because I'll forget to put the trash out on Tuesday morning, on the way to work. … She'll leave me a message: 'Must be a big game. The trash is by the garage instead of on the street corner.' "

Steelers president Art Rooney alludes to Tomlin's "presence" as a swing factor during the interview process. But this was not without impressive substance. Tomlin, hired after one season as Minnesota Vikings defensive coordinator, brought a half-dozen binders to his Steelers interviews.

They were filled with detailed plans for how he would handle a role with a franchise that had two coaches — Chuck Noll and Cowher — in the previous 38 years.

The first binder outlined core beliefs and philosophies.

Another dealt with training camp.

Another addressed news media relations, the training room and travel.

A plan that covered essentials for the chance of making the Super Bowl?

"When we made the Super Bowl," Tomlin asserted.

Yes, there's a binder for that.

"I don't know if we got to that in the interview, though," Tomlin recalls. "I had a lot of things that we didn't get to."

That binder might fetch a good price on eBay.

"It's not for sale," Tomlin shot back. "I've got to compete."

Releasing the Brakes by Jack Canfield

 

Have you ever been driving your car and realized that you'd left the emergency brake on? 

Of course.  We all have.  But when we discover the brake is on -- do we press harder on the gas pedal?  Of course not!

We simply release the brake… and with no extra effort we go faster.

Going through life is a lot like driving a car.  But unfortunately, most people drive through life with their psychological emergency brake on.  They hold on to negative images of themselves... or suffer the effects of highly emotional events they haven't yet released.  To cope, they stay in a comfort zone entirely of their own making.

And when they try to achieve their goals, these negative images and preprogrammed comfort zones always cancel out their good intentions—no matter how hard they try.

Call them "blocks" or "limiting beliefs" or "being stuck" -- but these images and past hurts are nothing more than driving through life with the emergency brake on.

Successful people, on the other hand, continually move beyond their comfort zone -- not by using increased willpower, but by replacing their beliefs about themselves and changing their self image.

They release the brakes -- and, just like a car, they instantly go faster.

GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

Think of your comfort zone as a prison you live in – a largely self-created prison. It consists of the collection of can’ts, musts, must nots, and other unfounded beliefs formed from all the negative thoughts and decisions you have accumulated and reinforced during your lifetime.

The good news is that you can change your comfort zone. How? In three different ways:

1. You can use affirmations and positive self-talk to affirm having what you want, doing what you want, and being the way you want.

2. You can create powerful and compelling new internal images of having, doing, and being what you want.

3. You can simply change your behaviors

All three of these approaches will begin to shift you out of your old comfort zone.

STOP RE-CREATING THE SAME EXPERIENCE OVER AND OVER!

An important concept that successful people understand is that you are never stuck. You just keep re-creating the same experiences over and over by thinking the same thoughts, maintaining the same beliefs, speaking the same words, and doing the same things.

Too often, we get stuck in an endless look of reinforcing behavior, which keep us stuck in a constant downward spiral. 

It goes like this: Our limiting thoughts create images in our mind… and those images govern our behavior… which in turn reinforces that limiting thought.

This is known as the Self-Talk Endless Loop.

As long as you keep complaining about your present circumstances, your mind will focus on it. By continually talking about, thinking about, and writing about the way things are, you are continually reinforcing those very same neural pathways in your brain that got you to where you are today. You are continually sending out the same vibrations that will keep attracting the same people and circumstances that you have already created.

To change this cycle, you must focus instead on thinking, talking, and writing about the new reality you want to create. You must FLOOD your unconscious with thoughts, images and ACTION that match your desired reality.

Then suddenly, instead of your outcomes being predetermined by an endless cycle of reinforced self-doubt and self-talk, you’re free to pursue your goals with new determination and confidence.

If releasing the brakes is something you need to do, realize that it's difficult to do by yourself. 

We need outside influences to break through our habitual ways of thinking and behaving to assist us in restructuring our beliefs, releasing our repressed emotions and connecting with our true selves.

Two of the most powerful methods for doing this are large group awareness trainings and therapy.  If I were to attribute my incredible level of success to any one thing, it would be the hundreds of personal development seminars I’ve attended over the past 40 years.

If you've discovered that you've been recreating the same outcomes, scenarios, experiences and endless loop of not getting what you want, I'd like to help you break free from this downward spiral. 

In fact, one of the most important things I do for participants in my Breakthrough to Success training week is to help them identify these "blocks" that govern their behavior -- then replace those blocks with new thoughts, attitudes, beliefs and patterns. 

Of course, there are literally hundreds of individuals and organizations that conduct seminars all over the world. Some are better than others, and in my experience, about 20% of them are highly competent and effective.

Visit their websites, call and talk to them, attend their guest events, and then make a decision about which one feels right for you.

The impact in all areas of your life will be incredible.

* * *

---

Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul© and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com

Rondo defensive drill

Check out my Twitter page for our latest defensive drill. We will have to now call it our "Rondo" Drill.

Coach's lasting lesson is one of simple devotion

BILL PLASCHKE

Coach's lasting lesson is one of simple devotion

Wooden and his wife, Nell, shown in 1970, were married for 53 years. Nell died in 1985, and for a time, Wooden became what he described as "bordering on" a recluse.

John Wooden's inspiration was his beloved wife, Nell, who passed away in 1985. His passing has reunited him with her, while leaving us with so much.

By Bill Plaschke
June 4, 2010 | 8:20 p.m.
When I think today of the greatest sportsman who walked a sideline, I think, instead, of where John Wooden lay his head.
It was a tiny bed in a cluttered room in the dark Encino condo where he lived for the last three decades.
He showed it to me once, without a trace of discomfort or embarrassment, led me inside and pointed to the threadbare white bedspread, Coach still coaching.
"That's Nell," he said.
It was, indeed, a smiling picture of his beloved late wife of 53 years, propped up above the pillow where he slept.
In the space next to the pillow, where Nell used to sleep, there was another propped-up photo of her.
Below that photo, in the middle of the bed, was a bundle of carefully scripted letters, all in the same intricate handwriting.
"Fan mail?" I asked.
"You might say that," he said.
The letters had been written by Wooden to Nell.
They contained humble descriptions of his day, gentle laughs over private jokes, eternal promises of his affection.
They had been written once a month, every month, since 1985.
They had been written after she died.
"I obviously don't have anywhere to send them," he said. "But I had to write them anyway."
He said he had talked to his wife every day for more than half a century, and it still wasn't enough. He wondered, when you are best friends, can it ever be enough?
"I miss telling her things," he said.
As he led me out of the bedroom in that darkened apartment, I realized he taught me again, only this time it was something that cannot be found in a pyramid or a rolled-up program.
I realized that I had just been given a glimpse into a lifetime of simple devotion, from Nell to UCLA, from a sport that didn't deserve it to children who will never understand it.
Coach had just shown me the meaning of undying love, and, as he led me out of the darkened room, I quietly wept at its power.
This, though, is why I will not weep today, in the wake of John Wooden's death at age 99.
Our loss will be his gain.
He will no longer have to sleep with a photo. He will no longer have to pick up a pen. The light of our lives can finally be with the light of his life.
All these things he's wanted to share with Nell, he can finally tell her himself.
"I haven't been afraid of death since I lost Nell," Wooden told me that day. "I tell myself, this is the only chance I'll have to be with her again."
Heaven knows, he's earned it.
When the great ones leave our courts and fields, don't they usually leave our lives?
Jackie Robinson died young, Muhammad Ali lost his voice, Michael Jordan lost his basketball sense, and Joe Montana refused to be honored at the Super Bowl unless he was paid.
When the great ones retire, so, often, does their greatness.
But John Wooden was different.
Has any sports figure ever broken every record in his field, then contributed more to the world after the games ended?
Wooden will be remembered today as Coach by those who never even knew he coached.
He won 10 national championships at UCLA, a record that will never be broken, yet many know him only for applying those lessons to real life.
He spent 27 years coaching the Bruins. But after his retirement in 1975, he spent the next years coaching, well, the rest of us.
Guess which job had more impact?
Hint: It was not the one where he earned the name the Wizard of Westwood.
"I am not a famous man," Wooden said. "I hate being called wizard. I am not a wizard."
Everyone called him Coach, and he was a teacher, and that is how he will be remembered, the sports world's greatest teacher, a man whose quiet voice somehow rose above the clatter of those who had long stopped listening.
He will be remembered not for diagraming a triangle offense, but for writing a pyramid bible, his Pyramid of Success long since becoming the best-known sports motivational tool.
He will be celebrated not only for sitting on the UCLA sideline, but for being in the bleachers just above the UCLA bench, where he sat for nearly every home game after his retirement, signing autographs and spinning wisdom.
He will be known not only for his loyalty to his many great players, but for his loyalty to his late wife; he once insisted that if the Pauley Pavilion court was named after him, Nell's name would have to come first, and so it does.
He will be applauded not for any endorsements, but for the one sponsorship he canceled. He removed his support of the John R. Wooden Award — college basketball's Oscar — when he believed that organizers weren't playing fair with his name.
During a time when the sports world was drastically changing, John Wooden never budged an inch, and in doing so, he moved us forever.
He was the only major basketball figure to disdain the NBA for the WNBA because he loved the fundamentals.
The last time he was seen at a prominent baseball game, it didn't involve the Dodgers; it was in Anaheim during the 2002 World Series, Coach preferring to support an Angels team that could bunt and steal and think.
His wisdom of "failing to prepare is preparing to fail" works better than ever on today's self-entitled athletes.
His bromide, "The man who is afraid to risk failure seldom has to face success" could be the motto of every modern, Internet-hounded, alumni-harassed college coach.
What he said back then works even better now, and so for years he never stopped saying it, giving speeches to groups who couldn't pay, spending time with kids who had no idea.
Because his words will last forever, it is impossible to imagine that he did not.
But we are comforted in knowing that he is reunited with his inspiration while leaving us with plenty.
"Be quick," we wanted to tell Coach before he set off for Nell and immortality, "But don't hurry."
Bill Plaschke can be reached at bill.plaschke@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Plaschke, go to latimes.com/plaschke.

Coach John Wooden sayings

From Coach Wooden

On Life

“Things work out for the best for those who make the best of the way things work out.”

“When you’re through learning, you’re through.”

“Whatever you do in life, surround yourself with smart people who’ll argue with you.”

“Wooden Family sets of 3’s”

Never lie. Don’t whine.

Never cheat. Don’t complain.

Never steal. Don’t make excuses.

“Balance is one of the most important things in basketball and in life as well.”

“Talent is God-given; be humble.

Fame is man-given; be thankful.

Conceit is self-given; be careful.”

“It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.”

Coach’s Faith

“God never closes one door without opening another.”

“I am just a common man who’s true to his beliefs.”

“O’ Lord, if I seem to lose my faith in Thee, do not Thou lose Thy faith in me.”

From Coach’s Expectations For His Players

“Remember that you represent others who are responsible for you as well as yourself and your personal appearance and conduct should not reflect discredit in any way upon yourself or upon those whom you represent. Cleanliness, neatness, politeness, and good manners are qualities that should be characteristic of those who are of great influence on young people and you certainly qualify for that category. Be a good example.”

The Team

“The main ingredient of stardom is the rest of the team.”

“The star of the team is the team.”

“No player is bigger than the team.”

On Being The Best You Can Be

“Don’t try to be better than somebody else, but never cease trying to be the best you can be.”

“Beating an opponent is not a goal, but a by-product of success.”

“Success is the peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming”.

“…acquire peace of mind by becoming the best that you are capable of becoming.”

“Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.”

“I am not what I ought to be, not what I want to be, not what I am going to be, but thankful that I am not what I used to be.”

“Success is not something others can give to you.”

“Anger prevents proper thinking and makes you vulnerable.”

“Motivation must come from the belief that ultimate success lies in giving your personal best.”

“You never fail if you know in your heart that you did the best of which you are capable.”

“We don’t control what the other team does to prepare. We can only control what we do to prepare.”

“Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.”

“Play to your potential.”

“A combination of personal qualities and values are intrinsic to making the effort to reach (a player’s) potential as a person. There is a direct relationship between what it takes to be a good basketball player and the requirements for being a good person.”

Practices

“The way you practice is the way you play.”

“Practice is where a championship is won.”

“End practices on a happy note.”

About Teaching Youth

“The greatest word in the whole dictionary is love.”

“Be slow to criticize and quick to commend.”

“Being a role model is the most powerful form of educating. Youngsters need good models more than they need critics. It’s one of a parent’s greatest responsibilities and opportunities.”

“The person you are is the person your child will become.”

Paying Attention To Details

“Little things done well is probably the greatest key to success.”

“If you do enough small things right, big things happen.”

“Be quick but don’t hurry.”

Erma Bombeck on dreams

 

"There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, "Yes, I've got dreams, of course, I've got dreams." Then they put the box away and bring it out once in a while to look in it, and yep, they're still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, "How good or how bad am I?" That's where courage comes in." 

Erma Bombeck

From Duane Silver

 

Be the kind of man that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "Oh crap, he's up!" Brother, life is too short to wake up with regrets.

So love the people who treat you right. Love the ones who don't, just because you can.

Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Kiss slow. Forgive quickly.

God never said that life would be easy. He just promised it would be worth it. Today is brothers day, send this to your brothers, fathers, and sons. A real brother walks with you when the rest of the world walks on.

How to Stop Putting it Off - Say Goodbye to Procrastination For Good

How to Stop Putting it Off - Say Goodbye to Procrastination For Good - By Isi Dixon

Procrastination - probably the number one cause for people to be disorganized, for not achieving what they want, for not being the best they could be. What people don't realize, however, is you only need the right tools to conquer it. Let's brush away the reasons why you might be procrastinating and we will basically leave you with no excuse to simply get on with it. "I haven't got the time right now." This is the most popular excuse for procrastinators. The thing is you are probably right. You have not got the whole block of time it takes to tackle the spare room, or the whole of the ironing pile, or the complete reorganization of the kitchen. But you have got 10 minutes, or maybe even 20 or 30. And that is all it takes to make a start. Start by sorting through one box, ironing 10 or 20 items, tackling one single drawer. And if you do that every day, you will realize that you are making slow but steady progress. If you find yourself still procrastinating, then there must be other, deeper rooted reasons behind that. These possible other reasons fall into two categories, ones concerning the project itself, the others your personality style. First, let's look at the project itself. The project might be perceived as: 1. Threatening 2. Too difficult 3. Boring 4. Impossible to finish 5. Waste of time 1. If a project or the outcome of the project is perceived as threatening, thoughts like "I'm in trouble if I get this wrong" might be going through your head. In this case a natural reaction is not to start the project at all or not to progress beyond a certain point so as to avoid failure. In cases like this make sure you have all the facts right. Ask questions: "What is the worst thing that could happen - realistically?" "How likely is this to happen?" "What exactly do I need to do to get it right?" "Have I got all the skills and abilities to do this project?" - If the answer is no, then you should probably consider to get someone to help. 2. If you think a project is too difficult, you might never start it. Sit down and think about what is difficult. Are you just unsure of how to start and how to break the project into smaller manageable chunks? Find an expert on the subject, someone who has done a similar project before and ask for help. 3. If you think a project is boring, try and make it more interesting, See how much you can achieve in a certain amount of time. And then for the next chunk, see if you can beat your previous record. Or put some of your favorite music on while you work. 4. If you think a project is impossible to finish, either it's the type of project that literally never ends (like housework) or it is a very large project. Again, breaking it up into smaller portions will help. Set yourself a daily target. 5. Finally, if you consider the project a waste of time, re-evaluate it. Does it really need to be done? Is it simply one of those jobs that need to be redone on a regular basis like tidying up or ironing. Use one of the solutions from number 4 to get the job done. Some jobs do seem to be a waste of time but we would sink into crud and chaos if we didn't do them at all. The second set of reasons is to do with someone's personality. These could be: 1. Perfectionism 2. Thriving on adrenaline 3. Lack of self confidence 4. Internalized negatives 5. Externalized positives Let's look at these hurdles to getting things done in detail, see what they are about and how they manifest and what you can do about them. 1. A lot of people have a perfectionist trait. This kind of mindset is fine if that perfect condition is feasible and you have a good track record of starting and finishing your projects. If you don't, then your perfectionism is probably an excuse for not starting the project at all. 2. "I work better under pressure." We all know people like that and we might have used that phrase ourselves. Again, there are two ways of dealing with this. Number one, it's a good excuse not to start until the last possible moment, and it's simply a way to put things off. Divide your project into segments and do one each day until it's done. Number two, if you literally work better under pressure, and some of us do, then make the project more challenging. Set mini-goals with a shorter deadline. This way you keep yourself on your toes but are still making timely progress towards your end goal. Also, get a project buddy. Tell someone about your project, and the deadline. Make yourself accountable. And be sure that certain someone is a person who will check up on you. 3. If you suffer from a lack of self confidence and feel that you simply can't tackle the project, find out what the first thing is you need to do to start the project. Do that, then find out the next step and so on. Also, divide the project into smaller chunks. 4. Internalizing negatives means that you always look for faults within yourself. If you do this, you will quite easily come up with negative emotions, such as "I'm lazy that's why I don't get things done" or "I'm stupid that's why I don't know where to start". I can assure you that none of this is true. You might lack motivation or not be an expert on a particular subject but you can easily do something about that. Think of a treat that you reward yourself with once you have completed the first part of the task and then keep rewarding yourself for every bit that you achieve until the project is completed. Also, there is no shame in asking people for help and advice on how to tackle a particular project. 5. Externalized positives are usually the reverse side of the same coin as internalized negatives. It means that you attribute anything positive that you do to outside influences and not to your skills and abilities, such as "I was lucky last time and it was easy. I could never do that again." It is usually a sign of lack of self confidence. Achieving something has most often nothing to do with luck. It is more likely to be the result of hard work and skill. And when you found something easy then you had the skills and talent to do it and nothing less. Any more excuses? Or did we cover them all and showed you how to conquer them? So what's stopping you now? ** To comment on this article or to read comments about this article, go here. About the Author: Isi Dixon is a Professional Organizer and Motivational Speaker in the Nottingham area of Great Britain. She specializes in helping homes and small businesses make more of their time and space. If you would like to find out more, please visit her website http://www.wellorganised.org or her blog http://wellorganised.blogspot.com.

A Prayer About Trust-Stress

A Prayer About Trust-Stress

The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I will look in triumph on my enemies. It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in princes. Psalm 118:6-9

Dear Lord Jesus, I’ve just woken up, and though I’m yawning my way through my first cup of coffee into your presence, I find you fully alert and engaged, as always. What a Savior you are… you never sleep nor slumber… you never need a break or a vacation… you never get bored with me, or any of your children… you never grow weary or roll your eyes and say, “When will he ever ‘get it’?” I praise you for your constancy and compassion… and your singular trustworthiness.

     Indeed, Jesus, I begin this day so thankful that you can be fully trusted… you alone, but I’m sad and concerned for friends who are living in stories of painful trust-stress. Invariably, we’re going to disappoint one another… we’re going to fail one another, as mere men. But that never makes it okay. The gospel doesn’t make us immune to the pain of bruised-trust… broken-trust… or battered-trust. Grace is not a numbing spiritual anesthetic for hurting hearts. To be Spirit-filled doesn’t mean to be denial-filled.

     It’s never easy, it’s not supposed to be easy when a spouse breaks the trust of their spouse. We’re not supposed to “get used to” having leaders let us down, yet again. It’s not a sign of spiritual maturity to feel nothing when a friends break confidences… break promises… or simply takes a break from us without any explanation.

     “What can man do to me?” Plenty, Lord, plenty. BUT… with you as our refuge… with you as our very present help… with you as our advocate, intercessor, and sovereign Lord and gracious Redeemer… with you as the only prince that can be trusted—the Prince of Peace, we don’t have to grow more angry, flint-hard, dangerously isolated, and/or toxically cynical. And that is what it means to “…look in triumph over my enemies!”

     Jesus, give to my bevy of friends from your bounty of grace. What does refuge look like today for those who are heavily trust-stressed? Jesus make it clear… please draw near. So very Amen, I pray, in your singular trustworthy name.

Gratitude

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for... tomorrow.”