For those willing to try

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again... So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”--TEDDY ROOSEVELT

Article from Newsweek on text messaging from teenagers

The sexual messages teens are sending each other via text messages

Top ten lists to your marriage and you as a parent

Top ten lists to help your marriage

Top ten lists to help you as a parent

Story on Colt McCoy

This email came to me from  YBL participant Rod Freeman. I wanted to pass it on to you for your encouragement.

Colt McCoy

These are powerful words. If you never read another e-mail.....READ THIS ONE ALL THE WAY THROUGH For the fans of Colt McCoy! I had the opportunity to hear Colt McCoy’s Dad speak this Tuesday   >> morning to the Dallas Christian Leadership Prayer Breakfast.  The   >> breakfast is an annual breakfast that was started by Tom Landry and   >> other Dallas leaders over 40 years ago and the speakers are usually   >> amazing.  Colt McCoy and his Dad, Brad, were supposed to deliver a   >> combined message; however, Colt became sick on Monday and could not   >> join his Dad on Tuesday morning.  In the end, it was a blessing   >> because Brad McCoy delivered a message on raising Colt and his two   >> other boys that was truly amazing!  The cliff notes are below.  I   >> took copious notes because he prefaced his   speech by stating, “I   >> am going to talk about the four principles with which we raised our   >> three boys.”  They are incredibly applicable to us as parents   >> (regardless of the sex of our children) and they made a significant   >> mark on my heart. >> >>   Brad McCoy said that he and his wife raised their children   >> according to the following four principles: > > >> 1. “Prepare your child for the path, not the path for your child.”   >> Brad said this is not just for our kids – it is for us as parents.   >> The road is rough, narrow and hard to find.  We have a book (the   >> Bible), a map vis-à-vis the Bible and God to help us.  We must   >> prepare ourselves and our kids for moments in life when doors open   >> and close.  He cited Proverbs 22:6: “Train a child in the way he   >> should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”  He also   >> cited, almost in jest but also in reality, Proverbs 23:13, “Do not   >> withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod,  he >> will not die.”  It was a funny contrast, but a real contrast.   He >> then said, “Dads, fight for your kids, prepare them!” >> 2.       “Prepare to be our best.”  This was one of the four McCoy   >> family mottos.  He cited 1 Corinthians 9:24, “Do you not know that   >> in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize?  Run in   >> such a way as to get the prize.”  He stated that every day he would   >> take his kids to school and upon them exited the car, he would say   >> to them, “Do your best and be a leader!”  He said that they  listened >> every time and even as they got older (4th, 5th and 6th  grades) he >> would repeat these words even if they said, “ Yeah,  Yeah, Dad, I >> know, do your best and be a leader!”    He said that  as a coach for >> 27 years, he would always lead his team onto the  field and leave his >> team at every practice with the chant, “Expect  to Win, Play to >> Win.”  And he implored us as parents to instill the  same attitude in >> our homes and in our children.  He cited Jim  Collins book, Good to >> Great, stating that good is the enemy of  Great!  We don’t aim high >> and miss – as we would like to believe.   In fact, most times, we aim >> low and hit the mark!  As parents, he  implored us not to aim low!   >> Aim high!!! >> 3.       “Be a Leader”  He stated that we are surrounded by such a   >> great cloud of witnesses – great leaders that we can draw from and   >> that our kids can draw from.  He said we are all at the mercy of   >> time and money and asked a rhetorical question: How do you spend   >> your time and money.  He then said that how we spend our time and   >> money is a direct reflection on where our true priorities lie.   >> Convicting!  He then said as a leader that he has always loved the   >> quote by Ghandi (even though he didn’t ascribe to all of Ghandi’s   >> beliefs): “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with dirty   >> feet.”  He said that as he taught this principle to his three boys   >> that Colt McCoy turned this phrase into his own words: “Thoughts   >> become things.”  Colt would tell his younger brothers as he  mentored >> them, “ You can’t talk like that or think like that,  because >> thoughts become things that play themselves out in your life.” >> 4.       “Prepare for Open and Closed Doors.”  As a Dad, he said it   >> was painful beyond all of his years on this earth to watch his son   >> get hurt in the first series of play in the National Championship  at >> the Rose Bowl.  A perfect setting.  A setting his son had  dreamed of >> ever since he threw the football with his Dad in the  front yard as a >> kid.  As a Dad, he went over to his son’s hotel  room after the >> Championship loss and the demoralizing fate for such  a NCAA football >> star.  He went to his son’s room to cheer his son  up and was praying >> to God for the right words.  He entered his  son’s hotel room to find >> his son finishing a devotional.  A  devotional that read as follows: >> “My positive energy must be better  than my negative energy.  My >> certainty must be me stronger than my  doubt.  The battle is won >> before I ever start the fight.  I choose  faith over fear.  Leave a >> legacy of excellence, love, dedication  and service.  Jeremiah >> stated, ‘Blessed is the man who’s trust is  in the Lord.’”  He said >> as a Dad, he had to find a corner of Colt’s  hotel room to sit down >> and cry over the maturity of his son.  His  son was prepared for open >> and closed doors!  Wow. >> >>   He then finished his speech by stating that as he consoled his  son >> under the Rose Bowl stadium, after it was readily apparent that  Colt >> would not be able to go back onto the field and play for the   >> Longhorns.  And as he was trying to motivate his son, his son   >> motivated the team and his Dad.  His son stepped into a new mantle   >> of leadership.  Rather than return to the field in pedestrian   >> clothes, Colt insisted on returning to the field to help his team   >> win.  He walked back onto the field in his uniform and helped the   >> second string quarterback read the defense and mentored the second   >> string quarterback over the course of the 3rd and 4th quarters.  He   >> said that his son had been studying “trust” in a Bible Study all   >> year long leading up to the National Championship game.  He said  his >> son had told his mom and dad that he didn’t know why he had  been >> studying that “trust” concept all year, but he   fully knew  why in >> the moments leading up to the National Championship loss.   He told >> his parents that he came to the conclusion that God had  “prepared me >> for years leading up to that game, because He wanted  me to “trust” >> Him!”  As his son, Colt, was approached by news  reporters after the >> Longhorns had lost the National Championship,  the reporters asked >> Colt how he was feeling and Colt replied: “I  always give God the >> glory.  I never question what God does.  God is  in control of my >> life and if nothing else, I am standing on the Rock!” >> >>   Brad McCoy said that his cell phone began lighting up with texts   >> after the game with friends, ministers and family members wildly   >> acclaiming the statement that Colt had made to the reporters.  He   >> said that he received letters from non-believers, Jewish ministers,   >> Muslim ministers and atheists in the days following the game – all   >> pointing to the AMAZING statement that Colt had made after the   >> game.  He said that as he entered Colt’s hotel room that night, he   >> asked his son, “What did you say after game?”  [He had not been  able >> to hear it in the mayhem of the stadium.]  Brad McCoy, Colt’s  Dad, >> asked two to three times, “Son, what did you say after the  game?”   >> Colt said, “Dad, I don’t know.  I really don’t remember  what I >> said.  All I remember is that the reporter asked me a  question and I >> prayed that God would supply me with the right  answer.”  Wow. >> >> Brad McCoy then ended his speech by telling a story about a young   >> football player that he was coaching back in his hometown.  He said   >> the young football player approached Brad McCoy after he returned   >> from Pasadena and said, “Coach, I heard what your son said after  the >> game, but I have one question: What is the rock?”  He said it’s   >> funny son.  We sing about it in church.  He then began singing   >> accapella: “My hope is built on nothing less, Than Jesus’ blood and   >> righteousness.  I dare not trust the sweetest frame, But wholly   >> trust in Jesus’ Name.  On Christ the solid Rock I stand, All other   >> ground is sinking sand; All other ground is sinking sand.  When   >> darkness seems to hide His face, I rest on His unchanging grace. In   >> every high and stormy gale, My anchor holds within the veil. On   >> Christ the solid Rock I stand, All other ground is sinking sand;  All >> other ground is sinking sand. His oath, His covenant, His  blood, >> Support me in the whelming flood.  When all around my soul  gives >> way, He then is all my Hope and Stay.  On Christ the solid  Rock I >> stand, All other ground is sinking sand; All other ground is  sinking >> sand. When He shall come with trumpet sound, Oh may I then  in Him be >> found. Dressed in His righteousness alone, Faultless to  stand before >> the throne.  On Christ the solid Rock I stand, All  other ground is >> sinking sand; All other ground is sinking sand.”   By the end of his >> singing, the entire room of men and women were  singing in unison >> with Brad McCoy.  It was truly an amazing morning  for the Lord and a >> truly amazing speech for us to learn from as  parents. >> >> Sorry for the long email.  I hope it blesses you as much as it   >> blessed me. >> Paul Jackson >> Principal >> Spyglass Equities Company

How sarcasm hurts

From All Pro Dad here is an articles that talks of the danger of sarcasm: Click here

Character Counts

CHARACTER COUNTS with Michael Josephson:
Cinderella Story: Basketball Coach Proves That Character Counts 665.3
You’ve got to love the Butler University story, the Cinderella team that fell only a few inches short of winning the 2010 NCAA national basketball championship against Duke, a perennial high achiever during March Madness. Maybe David and Goliath is a better metaphor.
Butler’s coach Brad Stevens, 33, was only 3 years old when Duke’s Mike Krzyzewski began his coaching career. Hardly anyone knew Brad Stevens’s name before the tournament while Krzyzewski has been famous for decades. Stevens makes $350,000 per year (still more than the university’s president), but that’s only a fourth of what Coach K earns.
What I really love is that his success is based on intelligence, determination, and good character. Without any credentials to speak of, he left an early corporate job to start a career as a coach.
The son of a physician and a college professor, he was a solid but unspectacular player at DePauw University where he was a three-time Academic All-American nominee. Like Mike Krzyzewski’s Duke team, his players have a graduation rate in excess of 90 percent.
This is significant in lieu of Secretary of Education Arne Duncan’s recent lambasting of the NCAA for the fact that 25 percent of teams in the 2009 tournament graduated fewer than 40 percent of their players. “If you can’t graduate two out of five of your players,” he declared at the annual NCAA convention, “what are they doing at your university?”
Stevens’s calm, positive coaching style reminds many of another Indiana-born coach, John Wooden.
This season was no flash in the pan, though. In fact, Stevens has begun to accumulate one of the most successful coaching records in college basketball, winning 86 percent of the 104 games he’s coached at Butler.
Kudos to Coach Stevens for proving that character counts. And kudos to the whole Butler team for a great game and a great season.
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Question for Leadership team

Three questions to ask your leadership team:
1. What should we stop doing?
2. What should we keep doing?
3. What should we start doing?

from Ray Wilkerson

David Allen, Getting Things Done and GTD :: Free Articles :: FINDING YOUR INSIDE TIME

David Allen, Getting Things Done and GTD :: Free Articles :: FINDING YOUR INSIDE TIME

"THE GOLD STANDARD"

"THE GOLD STANDARD"

BY MIKE KRZYZEWSKI (COACHING THE OLYMPIC TEAM)

COACHING INFORMATION from THE GOLD STANDARD by MIKE KRZYZEWSKI, Published by BUSINESS PLUS, New York, 2009.
* In developing teams, I don't believe in rules. I believe in standards. Rules don't promote teamwork, standards do....A team needs to work together to develop its particular set of standards. This process itself promotes teamwork.
* A major part of becoming a team, then, is the establishment and collective acceptance of your standards, based on your team's makeup and centered on your unique goal.
* Leaders should remember that not all the good ideas have to come from the top, and they should be secure enough to change plans based on the input of the team.
* You share a lot when you are on a team, but the primary thing that you share is your common goal.
* I started by presenting two standards that are vital to the formation of relationships, two concepts that are fundamental to a team dynamic: communication and trust. I said to my guys, "When we talk to each other, we look each other in the eye, we tell each other the truth, and we treat each other like men."

* "Being on time is a sign of respect for your teammates and coaches and for your task."...Jason Kidd.

* "No matter where you play if you can shut somebody down and rebound the basketball, you're going to win no matter who you're playing against."...Kobe Bryant
* The ability to be flexible also needed to manifest itself in the way we related to officials. I asked our team to be strong, to show no weakness, and to never complain about a call. Unselfishness and flexibility became our standards as well.
* I think one of the primary mistakes that leaders make in teambuilding is in believing that they have to be the sole provider of leadership. Great teams have multiple leaders, multiple voices. A major part of building a team is discovering who those voices will be and cultivating them, making sure that their leadership is established within your group. In order to do this, the team leader must first make certain that he or she has a solid relationship with those leaders.

* Attention spans seem to grow shorter and shorter with each generation. It has become increasingly true that no matter who you are...there is only a finite period of time during which you can speak and expect a group to listen.
* You may feel your team has a fifteen minute attention-span window. You can personally talk to that team for 15 good minutes. But when you have established several different voices on your team, you can open that window a little more by utilizing those voices.
* A leader doesn't have an exclusive contract on getting a point across. You have to have enough confidence in your leadership to share it. And really, this will make your team respect you more because they will be able to perceive your level of security. If you can make clear that it doesn't always have to be yours, you can more deeply ingrain the understanding that it is ours.
* You must make the members of your team realize that by being a part of a group, they can become better individually.
* A leader has to realize that he is not always the best, most talented, or smartest one in the room. But that leader must also realize that he or she darn well better have a great relationship with whoever that person is if the team is to be successful--a relationship without jealousy, built on trust and communication, and where you know that you can count on one another.
* From the start, we had a mantra for our team of "No pacing. Play every play."
* At our first meeting in the summer of 2006, Jerry Colangelo told our team, "Check your egos at the door." Jerry was referring to a crucial concept of team building: the sacrifice of the individual ego and the establishment of a stronger, joint ego.
* You cannot simply ask your team to just adapt to you. As a leader, it is part of your responsibility to adapt as well....a leader needs to be a part of a mutual adaptation that forms a combination of the best of everyone.
* A basketball team should check their egos at the door but should also pick them back up on their way onto the court. What I mean is, there is a delicate balance when it comes to asking people to adapt. You never want an individual to be so deferential to the team concept that they lose the part of their individual ego that makes them great.

Greatness

Great perspective from Mike Singletary( Hall of Fame football player and San Francisco 49ers head coach) about greatness...

“Greatness is not about someone who has the ability to be great. Greatness shows up when someone might not have that ability but finds a way to succeed. They outwork their opponents, they outhit their opponents, and they outfight their opponents. They want it more. Don’t give me the guy that is supposed to be all-world and you've got to try to talk him into something. Give me the guy who has maybe just enough talent to be on the field but thinks he's great, who's willing to do whatever he can do to contribute, to make his team better. That’s what I want. Give me all the misfits, the guys no one else wants. Now trust me, I want some talent too. But give me the right type of talent.”

Taken from Sports Illustrated ( September 23)