Napoleon Hill

"The ability to influence people without irritating them is the most
profitable art known to man."

 

-Napoleon Hill

Ronald Reagan

"A leader, once convinced a particular course of action is the right one, must have the determination to stick with it and be undaunted when the going gets rough. "

-- Ronald Reagan, 40th U.S. president

If you’ve never had the pleasure of hearing the legendary Coach Don Meyer speak…

Hurricane Meyer

by Alan Stein

If you’ve never had the pleasure of hearing the legendary Coach Don Meyer speak… you are missing out. Not only does he have more W’s than any coach in the history of college basketball… he is a tremendous public speaker. To say he is a wealth of knowledge would be an understatement. Coach Meyer has forgotten more about the game than most coaches will ever know!

I have had the pleasure of hearing him speak on three different occasions in the last 5 years… and each time I was blown away. Each time I furiously took notes until my hand cramped. Everything he says is of value – there is no fluff. I have also had the privilege of speaking privately with Coach Meyer, which was a real honor. He is the epitome of a servant leader and is overwhelmingly humble, genuine, and authentic.

Even though we have only met in passing, and don’t really know each other, he has had a profound impact on my coaching career and philosophy. I will be forever grateful to Coach Don Meyer.

If you haven’t checked out his site, you need to do so as soon as you are finished reading this blog. True to form, he has a FREE Power Point (140+ pages!) you can download on leadership. It is outstanding. You can find it at www.CoachMeyer.com

Also, if you haven’t read How Lucky You Can Be: The Story of Coach Don Meyer (by Buster Olney), add that to your list. It is hands down one of the most powerful stories I have ever read. It will make you laugh, make you cry, and make you cheer. You can order it at www.Amazon.com

If you follow me on Twitter (www.Twitter.com/AlanStein), you know in the past few months I have dropped a hurricane of Tweets on a variety of different topics. This past weekend at the MBCA Clinic in Minneapolis, Coach Meyer spit too much knowledge for me to Tweet. Yes, you read that correctly, too much for even me to Tweet!

So here is Hurricane Meyer:

NOTE: I’m not going to bother with adding quote marks… everything that follows came straight from his mouth!

·         I’m just an old basketball coach… so I don’t know everything like these young coaches today do.

·         Coaching = Leadership (you can’t coach if you can’t lead)

·         You can play, coach, or officiate. Pick ONE.

·         I don’t make decisions because they are easy, popular, or convenient. I make them because they are right.

·         A scared team is a quiet team. Great teams are vocal and communicate!

·         A great coach sees the little things. A great coach looks at Cindy Crawford and only notices the mole.

·         Great coaches balance repetition with variety.

·         Your goal: to be the best team on your schedule!

·         Sad reality: every parent would rather their son/daughter make All-State than for the team to win the State Championship.

·         Fundraising idea: set up an auction and buy your players for what they are worth and sell them for what their parents think they are worth!

·         Be your own worst critic. Be your own best expert.

·         Foundation of Coaching: know who you are and know what you stand for.

·         Make the big time where you are.

·         Choose battles small enough to win but big enough to fight.

·         Be a skill coach, not a drill coach. You must teach the game!

·         Practice the way you are going to play in games.

·         A good player knows where they are on the court. A great player knows where everyone is on the court. The best players know where everyone is and what they should be doing!

·         Kids today don’t listen, but they do watch. Set the example with your actions!

·         Every day you should make a ‘needs assessment.’ What does my team need from me to get better?

·         Let your players know these 2 things every day: here is one thing you are doing well (and why) and here is one thing you can do better (and how).

·         Always plan, prepare, and practice like you just lost your last game.

·         It costs you nothing to do the right thing. It can cost you everything when you do the wrong thing.

·         You can choose captains, but you can’t pick leaders. Leadership comes from within.

·         Whoever controls the locker room controls the team. Do you control it? Or do your players?

·         Everyone needs to have someone believe in them. For players from ‘broken’ homes, the coach may be the only person who does!

·         If you coach for any reason other than the love the game or because you want to impact kids, you are in the wrong business.

·         You can only reach your potential as a team if your best player is your hardest worker.

·         Don’t do 50 things one time to get better, do one thing 50 times (repetition = improvement).

·         3 people on your team need to ‘bring it’ every day: the head coach, the point guard, and the best player.

·         Expect greatness. Inspect greatness. Accept greatness.

·         It’s always easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission. Don’t accept that as an excuse very often!

·         Don’t coach on emotion. Get mad, calm down… then act mad.

·         Celebrate every win… until you get to the locker room. Then move on to the next game.

·         The worst day in coaching is still better than the best day doing just about anything else!

·         Plan your week on Sunday. Plan the next day, in greater detail, the night before.

·         Great teams are good enough to win even when the ‘ball doesn’t bounce their way.’

·         Rules for individual workouts: personal and purposeful

·         You must practice with the poise and effort of a championship team to become a championship team.

·         Great coaching: clear, concise, complete

·         It’s not who we play or where we play, its how we play that matters.

·         You must teach all 6 phases of the game:

o   Defensive coverage (transition, talk, point)

o   Shot pressure (contest, alter shot)

o   Rebound (block out, pursue, chin the ball, outlet)

o   Value the ball (move the ball, hard cuts, set screens)

o   Shot discipline (Who? Where? When?)

o   Offensive board coverage

·         The more you think, the slower your feet move.

·         Don’t give directions that can be understood, give directions than can’t be misunderstood.

·         If you have to tell everyone you are great… you aren’t.

·         Gossipers say behind your back what they won’t say to your face. Flatterers say to your face what they won’t say behind your back.

·         Positioning, anticipation and technique create quickness. Therefore, you can always get quicker.

·         You can never work too much on shooting.

Well there you have it, a ton of knowledge from one of the best ever.

Please honor Coach Meyer and forward this blog to at least one other coach. Help me spread his message.

I appreciate you and wish you the best this season,

Alan Stein

www.StrongerTeam.com

www.Facebook.com/StrongerTeam.com

Why confrontation is important and passive aggressive doesn’t work.

 

What happens when we do nothing Gavriel's Horn

Can you give an ounce more?

As a coach, I ask the players on our team to give all they have. “Give 100 %.” The smart coaches ask their players to give 110%, somehow they have figured out how to get an extra 10% out of their player.

Recently I visited with a friend that was going through a struggle in a relationship. I asked if they thought they could give an ounce more of compassion in this situation. Could they see that the person had a difficult background and tough circumstances to overcome? If they offered an ounce more of compassion maybe that would help the relationship and would make the irritations less irritating. My reasoning is to see things from the other person’s point of view and understand the difficulties they are under.

An ounce more of compassion might be your best option. Being frustrated is not helping and not bringing any healing. This person may not change ten years from now. What has to change is how we treat that person. It is the only thing we can control.

Then I thought about myself and thought that is what I need to tell myself. An ounce more compassion and understanding would help me in all my relationships. We seem to have the best advice for others that we need to use on ourselves.

Use an ounce today.

Friend-o-meter

We all have friends and carry on conversations that take place at different levels. Different levels of emotions, different levels of caring, different levels of intentness.

Bill Gothard, in his Institute in Basic Youth Conflicts, has identified four "Levels of Friendship".

They are (1) acquaintance, (2) casual friend, (3) close friend, and (4) intimate friend.

I think we should also develop some type of friend-o-meter. How we measure our friends and how much we value their friendships on the different levels. It is a way you judge how many close friends you have and how comfortable you feel.

The circle of 5 advertisement by the certain cell phone carrier is a great indicator of where we sit with our friends and family. Also I think it helps as we look at those in our larger circle. What about our circle of 20, 50 or 100? So if we graded on a friend-o-meter with 100 of your contacts in your phone or database how would you come out?

If you took 100 people from your contact list how many could you put in the following categories:

Random things of an acquaintance/casual friend:

Those you could ask for an extra quarter if you are short at the drink machine.

Help you out with cash at lunch one day you forget your wallet (my friends all know my trick).

A ride from the mechanic when your car is in the shop. Getting a ride to or from the airport.

Watching someone’s house, picking up their newspaper, getting the mail while out of town.

Items with a close friend:

Counsel shared from either and knowing it won’t leave that room.

Listening to frustration and not trying to fix anything just listening.

Coming by the second time during the day to see if they are really ok (because you know when they said everything was ok the first time they weren’t telling the truth).

Calling them to check on them even when you are tired and you know they many not want to talk.

Driving by to see them even when it’s out of the way and you have a to do list that isn’t half way done.

“No, really it’s ok I have time to talk.” When you have to be somewhere. I can remember being in the certain places where I had heard the tough news from different friends, whether it was in my car, in my office or face to face. (I also recall the times I didn’t make the call when a call was probably just what a friend needed)

Intimate friend

Those you can share anything without being judged.

Those you can say what you want to say without fear.

Those who will tell you in time what you may not want to hear, but they will say it anyway in love.

5% club

Percentage wise we all differ. I would venture when we get down to it we all have a list of about 5% (or 5 out of that 100) you can count on to share the things you really want to share.

One of the worst ways to hurt is hurt emotionally. Most people don’t know what to say or how to handle it in the most effective way. So they do the best thing they think possible; they turn the other way. They go and completely ignore the person hurting emotionally.

The person who has lost his job, lost his health, or lost his family is less intimating than the man who is struggling emotionally.

We know how to reach out or put people on a prayer list for a list of illnesses. We know what to pray or counsel for when people lose something tangible.

It is hard to put down that this person is hurting emotionally and sometimes feels the weight of the world. Or this person has a feeling of loneliness that makes them not want to go on. The feeling of being kicked in the gut and not knowing how to get up off the floor.

        Where are you?

It’s why I do what I do. I love to be able to visit with young men and talk with them about their struggles. I told our team my job was to get the absolute most our of their potential whether they liked it or not. Today’s kids have less fear. They are willing to put in time, but sometimes resist change and teaching at times. “Don’t hamper my ability to teach you by involving your emotions. You have to allow me to do my job to the best of my ability so I can help you be at your best. If you resist if hurts our chance to grow as a team and your chance to grow as a player and young man,” I told them.

I wonder sometimes why we limit ourselves. We limit ourselves in our relationships. We limit ourselves in our own ability to grow. We limit ourselves by worrying about what others think.

Expand your 5%. Expand the people you feel close to and who you can share with when you struggle. Most young people struggle and never have someone to talk with about their issues. I want our young men to find people they can talk to so they can “empty the bucket,” That’s my phrase for being able to get everything out. You have to have someone you can “empty the bucket” with or it gets stuffed inside. I’ve seen the young adults and adults that stuff it inside and it doesn’t work.

My challenge is to see how you can be there for other people and whose 5% are you in?

Who would call you in time of need? Not superficial need, but real need?

Who would you call and what are you doing to improve that relationship?

Article on Jerry West by Jonathan Abrams

This is an article by Jonathan Abrams from Grantland.com on the great Jerry West. West is open about is life long battle with self-esteem issues. Also previews his new book which comes out today (Oct.18): West by West: My Charmed, Tormented Life. click here for the article

Self-esteem by Brian Tracy

By Brian Tracy ***
------------------------------------------------------------

Your self-esteem is probably the most important part of your personality. It precedes and predicts your performance in almost everything you do. It is the energy source or the reactor core of your personality, and how much self-esteem you have determines your levels of vitality, enthusiasm and personal magnetism. People with high self-esteem are more positive, more likable and more effective in every part of their lives.

Everything that you do or say or think will affect your self-esteem. Your job, therefore, is to keep your self-esteem high and positive on a continuing basis.

Probably the best definition of self-esteem is this: the level to which you respect and value yourself as an important, worthwhile person. People with high self-esteem feel terrific about themselves and their lives. When you feel really good about yourself, you tend to be the very best person you can possibly be.

To perform at your best and to feel terrific about yourself, you should be in a perpetual state of self-esteem building and maintenance. Just as you take responsibility for your level of physical fitness, you need to take complete responsibility for the content and quality of your mind.

I have developed a simple formula that contains all the critical elements of self-esteem building, and you can use it on a regular basis to assure maximum performance.

This formula is comprised of six basic elements. They are: goals, standards, success experiences, comparison with others, recognition, and rewards. Let's take them one at a time.

How much you like and respect yourself is directly affected by your goals. The very act of setting big, challenging goals for yourself and making written plans of action to achieve them actually raises your self-esteem, which causes you to feel much better about yourself.

Self-esteem is a condition you experience when you are moving step-by-step toward the accomplishment of something that is important to you. For that reason, it's really important to have clear goals for each part of your life and to continually work toward achieving those goals. Each progressive step causes your self-esteem to go up and makes you feel more positive and effective in everything else you do.

The second element in self-esteem building is having clear standards and values to which you are committed. Men and women with high self-esteem are very clear about what they believe in. The higher your values and ideals are, and the more committed you are to living your life consistent with those values and ideals, the more you will like and respect yourself, and the higher your self-esteem will be.

Lasting self-esteem comes only when your goals and your values are congruent--that is, when they fit into each other like a hand into a glove. Much of the stress that people experience comes from believing one thing and trying to do another. But when your goals and values are in harmony with each other, you feel a wonderful surge of energy and well-being, and that's when you start to make real progress.

Many people tell me that they are unhappy with their job because they can't seem to achieve success no matter how hard they try. I always ask them if they are doing what they really care about and believe in. In many cases, people realize that they are not happy with their job because it is the wrong kind of work for them. Once they change jobs and start doing something that they really enjoy, something that is more consistent with their innermost convictions, they start to make real progress and get a lot of satisfaction out of their work.

The third element in self-esteem building involves having success experiences. Once you have set your goals and standards, it is important that you make them measurable so that you can keep score of your small and large successes along the way. The very act of setting up a goal, breaking it down into smaller parts, and then completing those parts makes you feel like a winner and causes your self-esteem to go up. But remember that you can't hit a target you can't see. You can't feel like a winner unless you clearly lay out the standards by which you are going to measure your success and then achieve those standards.

The fourth element of self-esteem is comparison with others. The more you know about how well the others in your field are doing, and the more favorably you compare with them, the more you will feel like a winner, and the higher your self-esteem will be.

Successful people continually compare themselves with other successful people. They think about them and read about them and study their performances, and then they work to surpass them one step at a time. Eventually, successful people reach the point where they compete only with themselves and with their past accomplishments. But this comes after they have moved to the top and left many of their competitors behind.

The next element for self-esteem is recognition of your accomplishments by people whom you respect. To feel really great about yourself, you need the recognition of people you look up to and admire, such as your boss, your coworkers, your spouse and people in your social circle. Whenever you are recognized and praised for any accomplishment by someone whose opinion you hold in high regard, your self-esteem goes up, along with your eagerness and enthusiasm to do even better on the job.

The final element of self-esteem involves rewards that are consistent with your accomplishments. You may work in a field where you receive financial bonuses, status symbols--larger offices, bigger cars--or even plaques and trophies for superior achievement. All of those symbols can have an incredible impact on raising your self-esteem and causing you to feel terrific about yourself.

If, however, your existing situation does not offer the tangible or intangible rewards that are necessary for you to build and maintain your self-esteem, you must create rewards for yourself. One of the smartest things you can do is to design a system for giving yourself rewards for both small and large accomplishments as you move progressively toward your goals. For example, people who do telephone prospecting will often treat themselves to a cup of coffee after every 10 calls. After 25 calls, they will reward themselves with a walk around the building or the block. After 50 calls, they will go out to lunch. Each of those rewards serves as an incentive that motivates them to repeat the performance. The end result is success, enthusiasm, and high self-esteem.

Whether or not your current environment provides the six elements of self-esteem building--goals, standards, success experiences, comparison with others, recognition, and rewards--you need to establish your own structure and take full responsibility for building yourself up on a regular basis.

The only real way for you to absolutely know that you are a valuable and worthwhile person is for you to make the effort, overcome the obstacles and pay the price to bring these elements into your life. When you have that foundation, you will experience a form of mental fitness and unshakable optimism that will sustain you through failure and propel you to success.

About the Author:

Brian Tracy is an authority on the development of human potential and personal effectiveness. He is chairman and CEO of Brian Tracy International, a company specializing in the training and development of individuals and organizations. Brian addresses more than 250,000 people each year, to audiences as large as 20,000 people. Visit http://www.BrianTracy.com for more information.

Good article from CNN:What teachers want to tell parents

 

Parents, teachers and coaches all should read the following article from CNN: click here

Reconnect

I thought last spring how unconnected or de-connected I can become with my team, with others and my family.

Whether it is a mission statement, or a charge this is what I have given to our team for this year.

We may not have the most of (fill in the blank), but we can make up for it in other ways. I need something to hold myself accountable. I want something to hold our team accountable.

For evaluating how our team is playing I love statistics and trends. I love to analyze numbers of how we are playing, shooting, rebounding, defending, etc. What I don’t like doing is monitoring how much a player is growing and how a team is growing emotionally. Each one is different and takes its own time table.

We may not reach of these goals. We will strive to hit them between now and the last game of the season. The goals we want to achieve on the court and in games are tangible and are for all to see. Only our team can see these goals.

It may take every day single day of our season and up to the last second. That will be our commitment for our team.

Reconnect

We will be committed to each other

We will love each other

We will give our best for each other

We will depend on each other

We will be here for each other

We will cheer for each other

We will forgive each other

We will listen to each other

We will put yesterday behind us

We will not worry about tomorrow

We will give it all we got today

We will respect each other

We will confront each other

We will help each other

We will have each other’s back